The pursuit of success is something I would consider noble. Growing up, I held the qualities of ambition and hard work as positive traits and I carried them into my own professional life as I pursued a career in accounting.  But for me, this pursuit was still tiring and life-sucking.

My motivations for this success have been many things throughout the years. A primary motivator has been financial gain and security, initially at a superficial level, later for providing a “good” life for my family. 

Recognition has been another; the desire to be respected and admired by my family, friends, and professional peers. There is a strong link between the effort I put in and the results I get out of it, and my career has often been a source of self-worth. I get great satisfaction when things are going well.  When they are not—well, those are the long days.  

A few years ago, I was given a great opportunity to organize the finances of a division in my company. This role came with a better title and higher salary and I jumped at the chance to take it. 

However, the company was struggling financially and it wore me down. I can vividly recall the tension in my back while on the train to work in the morning and looking forward to nothing but being back on the train going home that night. 

Operating from a place of self-determination, I felt constantly defeated. It impacted all the areas of my life, especially my family. I was not in a good place.

Eventually, my pursuit of success led me to move on to a company where I felt better about the fit and the career trajectory it offered. I thought the role would offer me everything I needed in my career and life to make me happy: the culture of the company, the industry, the proximity to home. I was “redefining” my idea of success.

I will never forget going in on my first day and finding out the company was about to be sold. I was fortunate to be asked to stay on in a leadership role when the rest of the original management group moved on. 

I was even given a new title that I was very proud of, yet inside I was still not at peace.

In this case, I did not feel equipped for the challenge even though being a leader was something I had always aspired to. Looking back, my desire to be a leader was partly founded on the desire to be perceived as a success.

It was around this time that I attended a men’s retreat for the first time. I had been feeling small ‘tugs’ in my life drawing me back into my faith and God and though going on a retreat was something I had never done before, my dad and brother had planned to go, which made it easier for me to commit. One of the key messages I received there was that we all have a void in our hearts that only the love of God can fill.  Through the words of one of the speakers, I felt God saying to me, “Sean, I am enough”. The perspective I held on being successful crumbled—it would never be enough.

The pursuit of success and external validation was a constant cycle, never finished. I was trying to fill the void and it became clear to me why I never felt at peace, even in, what seemed like my most successful career moments. 

I realized I am not in control of outcomes and cannot work hard enough to create or will into existence lasting peace and happiness. My history had proven that. 

I began to embrace God’s will in my life. And as it turns out, I began to feel more at peace and accept that my worth is not determined by the title I hold at work or what my salary is. I began to see the ways, big and small, that God blesses my life each day. Instead of focusing on my next career move, I focused on being grateful for the day and using my work to give glory to God.

This did not mean I stopped caring about work or was unphased by challenges, but my heart changed and my priorities with it. My job no longer held the top spot in the priorities of my life and it stopped defining whether I had worth or not. 

That is also not to say I never worked late or gave up work-travel—putting in hard work is something God calls us to. But a recommitment to my relationship with God and my family helped me keep things in perspective.  

As I let God into my life and seek His will over my own ambitions, I find my work life improving.  I am a better leader and feel more peace. I have found there are three key ideas that I hold onto in my journey:

First, giving up the pursuit of personal success does not mean giving up a meaningful career. The greatest satisfaction I have felt in my work has come after I chose to put the will of God above my own. God has a big plan for each of us, sometimes demanding more than we feel we are capable of.

Second, God equips us for the challenges we will face. In retrospect, the moments of hardship or discomfort in my career were the moments that forged my character and helped me become resilient.  I have learned that instead of asking, “why is this happening?”, I should be asking, “what are you teaching me?”  Each adversity that we overcome prepares us for the big challenges that we all face.

Third, surrendering our plans and personal desires and opening ourselves to God’s will can open opportunities we never thought possible. Several years ago, I would never have imagined myself working for the Church. Now I cannot imagine doing anything else.

My story is just a small example of seeking the will of God over personal success. When I left my last job to come and work for the Church, the CEO of the company left me with some parting words that I’ll never forget: “Sean, I’m not sure I ever told you this, but I’m also Catholic, and throughout my life and career, I’ve learned that if God is leading you to do something, it’s best to do it.”