We are told in Scripture, in sermons, and in our daily meditations to be “joyful at all times” or “to let no one take away your joy.” So we go about our days, smiling and laughing hoping that we have figured out the joy that God has called us to practice in our everyday lives. We wake up in the morning and tell ourselves that today we will be happy, that joy is achievable today because we have our coffee, a family that loves us, a house to live in, etc.  But then something happens that brings us disappointment and we spiral. The foundation we thought we had built in the morning is gone. We didn't figure out joy, we were just acting happy. 

But sometimes our suffering is so all-consuming that we cannot even act happy. And if happiness doesn't even seem achievable how could we possibly fathom the idea of joy? We blame God as we simultaneously cry for his help not understanding how he could redeem the horrible pain of a loved one passing away, a break-up, the evils of abortion and euthanasia, etc. That is why we must come to understand what joy is so that we can know that it is not necessarily the absence of suffering. 

In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis writes about joy being “an inconsolable desire that forms the backdrop to almost everything we think we desire in this life.” Stunning right? But this quote doesn't give a clear objective for living out joy. So if joy is forming the backdrop of our lives, do we reach behind and pull it forward so we can start living it or do we just leave it as the backdrop? How do we do this when circumstances don’t feel joyful? 

I once encountered an elderly British fellow that I believed encompassed this kind of joy. He had never been married, never spoken of having a sweetheart, lived on the road most of his life, had experienced a lot of death, built his life around the mission of helping people, had seen the pain of war… and I never heard him complain once. He was always smiling, always talking of encounters with Christ, always singing, and never complaining. Every time I’d encounter him, his joy was evident. I couldn’t explain it, I just witnessed it and knew that what he was living out was joy. 

This confused me. For me, joy was often tied to the sum of all the good things in my life. A family home to come back to, a boyfriend who loves me, a consistent schedule, a steady job, etc. But this man had found joy in the random adventure that was his life. This seemed bizarre to me. Looking back, I believe this man was living out what C.S. Lewis is getting at when he talks about joy “forming the backdrop.” In every interaction, this man allowed joy to be the foundation of his existence, not the outcome of his circumstances. But where did this joy come from? Joy comes from love. 

So what is the relationship between joy and love? Joy flows out of love. As we pursue love for God, God will give us the grace to grow in joy. This means we can’t fake joy. We might be able to fake happiness, but if joy is a grace given to us by God then we can’t pretend we’re joyful. All the little things in life like a cup of coffee in the morning and a family that loves us can lead us to joy but they cannot be the foundation for our joy. The foundation for joy is love. 

If we look at the cross as the perfect act of love we can understand that joy can often flow out of suffering. Our suffering is not useless, it can be the seed that leads to a joy-filled life. 

Two thousand years ago, a young woman was asked by God to give up her life so that love could be born into this world. Without hesitation, this young woman accepted the call and put her life down so that love could enter this world. This was an act of divine love. She was in full active communion with our Lord and allowed herself to be consumed by joy! This perfect act of love leads to true Christian joy. Mary’s “yes” to God is a perfect example of how we can participate in the joy of Christ. 

Of course, for many, it’s not just mundane circumstances that is up against our joy, but deep grief, pain, or loss. We are in a season of winter. And there, I myself look to those who have learned to feel the strength of Jesus, even in the roaring waves. Or those who may not experience joy, but know that with Christ, they still have joy. 

So my friends, whenever you are weary, and joy seems like some far-off distant philosophy, remember that when you love you are practicing joy. To live out joy means to live out Mary's “yes.” What does it actually look like to live out Mary’s “yes”? It means going back to the same nine-to-five job that brings you nothing but anxiety and smiling at that one coworker that you can’t stand. It means coming home to your family, even when you're tired and frustrated, and sitting down with your kids and reading a book or helping your wife with supper. It means uniting your suffering to Christ's suffering and recognizing that no matter what we’re going through Christ has the ability to redeem it. 

When I was at university, one of my theology professors once said that the answer to everything is either “Jesus” or “love.” We all laughed, but in reflecting on this article I think that the professor might be right—love is the answer. If we love, if we give Mary’s “yes,” from that will spring true, perfect, and extraordinary joy. 

In closing, we lift a simple prayer to our Father that as we come closer to Jesus, the very source of love, we may find what we desire in this season of joy.