Friendship saved my faith. 

I met my best friend, Reanne, when I was about 6 months old. Our mom’s are best friends, and as toddlers we became best friends too. Since childhood, I’ve moved about 14 times, but amid all that cross-Canada traipsing, Reanne has remained my close friend. The bridge of friendship was maintained through hundreds of hours of phone calls and Skype calls (remember Skype?) and countless pages of pen-pal correspondence. 

Several times in my late teen and university years, I encountered “dry spells” in my faith, where I struggled to maintain a relationship with Jesus. 

There were several reasons that I struggled with Jesus, but overall I experienced seasons where I was tempted to leave the Church because my intellectual doubts about the Faith were exacerbated by the fact that many of the people I was surrounding myself with were not taking their faith seriously. However, there was one big exception to these friends. 

One of the main reasons I remained in the Church, despite adversity, was because of Reanne.

While everyone, regardless of temperament, has their struggles with faith, the steadiness of Reanne's Catholic faith was a powerful counter to my chronic inconsistency. 

I respected her. She was a person who was quick to serve other people. She was kind. She was determined. She suffered without bitterness. I observed her habits of praying, of partaking in the Sacraments, of investing in her Church community and I couldn’t deny that her faith was real and that the fruits of her faith were just as real. When I was struggling to pray at all, she was praying for me. 

Jenny (left) and Reanne (right)

Even when I doubted my own faith, I couldn’t deny that Reanne’s faith was authentic, based on the way that she exemplified the interior peace and exterior virtue that marks someone who is living in the truth. 

It’s a lot harder to dismiss Christianity when you see its goodness embodied in a person who you love and respect. 

I loved her, which meant that I found her Chrsitian way of life to be compelling, simply based on my closeness with her. And I respected her, which meant that I took the way that she lived seriously. Christianity, embodied by my friend, was authentic and tangible in a way that pierced through my intellectual and emotional qualms.

I remember one year, early in university, where my main friend group was temporarily composed of many individuals who did not share a faith in Christ. As someone who was already doubting aspects of Catholicism, I noticed that the sway of friends who encouraged that doubt only served to increase my propensity for potential departure from the Faith. 

I knew if I wanted to remain Christian, I would need to surround myself with people who shared a Christian conviction. The next year, I changed universities, because I knew that I needed people around me who I respected and who would usher me towards truth rather than encourage my spiraling doubts. 

I didn’t need someone to convince me or save me. I needed friendships that would anchor me and remind me of what my heart would often forget.

There’s an old cliche that says “you are the average of the people closest to you.” As we journey through life, the people who are our closest companions make a significant contribution to how our life progresses. 

As I reflect on my own faith journey, I can’t help but consider just how easy it can be to slide into a version of Christianity where I’m attempting to be faithful to Christ without the support of friends. 

If we are isolated from a community of friends who spur us onwards and upwards in our faith, it becomes much more likely that we'll grow weary when times are hard.

But we're supposed to be stronger than that, right? We're supposed to be so strong in our faith that we can stay close to Jesus on our own, right? 

A life with Christ is about decisions over and over again. It's about endurance and growth. 

We need people on the journey with us to lift us when we're weary, mourn with us when we're sad, guide us when we're astray, and celebrate with us in victory. 

Personal conviction, a relationship with Christ, the grace of the Sacraments, the intellectual conviction of a well-formed mind, are all critical components to a robust faith. But human beings are inherently relational, and without the enriching power of relationships that encourage us on the path that we want to follow, our faith is prone to wither. 

Right at the beginning of the Bible, the Lord speaks to the first man, saying, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” While this Scripture particularly refers to the relationship between Man and Woman, it also establishes the essential need of relationship within the human experience. In the Gospels, it is no mistake that Christ built a community of twelve apostles and many others. When Christ sent his apostles out to evangelize, he sent them out “two by two,” further emphasizing how our faith is best practiced together. 

Much later in the Bible, St. Paul writes about the critical nature of community in the Christian journey: “.  . .  we urge you, brothers, to admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, and be patient with them all.” (1 Thess 5:14) 

Clearly, there’s an essential need for relationship in the human experience. The Christian faith is not a faith of solo agents. It is a faith that best unfolds when we are not alone, but together. 

When we are fainthearted, a good friend can revive us. When we are caught in sin, a good friend can beckon us towards Reconciliation. When we are burdened, a good friend can help us carry our Cross, just as Simon of Cyrene helped Jesus carry his Cross in the Gospels. 

Friendship has been, literally, a saving grace in my life. Reanne’s presence as a friend gave me light in times of shadow and set a precedent for the kind of friend that I want to be for others. 

As I’ve progressed in my journey as a Christian, my faith has continued to mature to the point where I intentionally seek to be close to people who spur me upwards towards Jesus. I don’t always have someone like Reanne around, but no matter where I am living, I always ask the Holy Spirit to send me friendships that draw me closer to him, because I know I am prone to waver without support. 

Perhaps authentic Christian friendship is a grace that you are overlooking or underating in your life. Perhaps it is a gift that you are craving, but don’t have yet.  If you have it, hold it close. If you don’t, ask the Holy Spirit to show you the next step towards the friendship that you desire. Seek to be close to people who are as urgent and radical about pursuing sainthood as you want to be. The Christian path is not for the faint of heart, but the grace of friendship makes it much more possible.